Hey! Shove Tater Tots in My Pants & Take Me 2 The Hospital

My floor is slowly disappearing. Covered in this and that and everything else. It is driving me CRAZY!! We are trying to move things from one room to another to get things rolling so we can get our house fixed from the hurricane. It is awful. There is no where to go with it.

Since my room is full of mold we have been camped out in the living room on our couches. I have 2 herniated disks in my lower back. Couches are not a bad-back's best friend. It, my back, has been sore for the last couple of weeks. I figured it was because of sleeping on the couch but I had no other place to lay my tired head.

On Thanksgiving it started giving out on me. There I was standing in the kitchen trying to make my pumpkin roll and it glitched. When it does this it spasms and I cannot walk at all. Pain to the passing out point. My mom rushed and got me a chair so I could sit down in the kitchen where I was standing. Gave me a Vicodin and then shoved tater tots in my pants. Yes, tater tots! She said the cold would help it. I was about to pass out so if a little taters in my pants would help then bring them on. I sat there for an hour while the starch numbed my back an the meds kicked in. I then was very careful all day, popped pills and it seemed to feel better...until around 10 p.m.

I sat down on the couch to feed Itty Bitty and after I finished I started to get up and it did it again but much worse. Bring on the ambulance! Thomas calls them and they come, load me up on the stretcher and off we go to the ER. We get to the ER and by then my 2 Vicodin that I took right before the lovely EMTs loaded my plump bod had kicked in. Thank God. I had to pee. I was able to shuffle to the bathroom and get back to my room without a spasm from throwing me to the floor. I then got blood taken to check to see if I was preggers. Negative on that. I then was given a gown in which a toothpick should have been wearing instead of the whole tree. I had to go get X-Rays with my hiney hanging out of the gown. The tech sniffed and said "Did you put a cream on your back." I replied with "Yes, Bengay...I'm minty fresh." The X-ray techs love me...last time this happened it was a guy and I freely handed him my bra. The X-rays came back looking like the ones I had done 3 years ago did. I was given something called Soma. The nurse said "Soma puts you in a coma." Good stuff.

So now I am finally back home, my home and trying to take care of Itty Bitty and keep my back from going out. Having a bad back sucks tater tots.

Sad Heart

Friends of mine, James & Angie, found out today that their baby's heart stopped. She was about 7 weeks along. James and Angie had a son that was born with an Omphalocele, the same thing Itty Bitty has. He never came home from the hospital. They have gone through so much and kept their faith in God and have managed to support others during this time. It is so sad. I pray that they can find comfort in this time of grief. I pray that God will bless them with another child when the time is right. Jackson is now playing with his little brother or sister in Heaven.

Hug your little ones, they are our blessings.

Stretched

Do you ever feel like you are just being stretched in too many different directions? I feel that way now. It seems like everyone wants a piece of you and there are not enough to go around. My parents want us at there house or to be at ours and T's mom wants us at hers. Mine feel like we have to be up there at least once a month and them down here once a month, making it two weekends with us all together. T's mom gets mad if we spend more time with them than her so therefore we have to try to even it out. So that leaves T and I with how many weekends with just ourselves? Not many at all! Right now during the holidays it is even worse.

I've decided to have Itty Bitty's 1st birthday here where we live. Everyone else will just have to deal with it. I am tired of trying to make everyone else happy and wearing myself out. How do you tell someone that they are coming around too often? I just want it to be my 3 member family sometimes. At times my parents just say "We will be down next weekend." I thought it was to go like this, "Is is okay if we come down next weekend?" Maybe I am backward?

I need to find something that I can do by myself and just enjoy it. I am with Itty all day and all night. Of course I am her mommy so I should be. Should I? I mean is it okay to take a couple of hours a week and do something with out her? I tend to her and then T is always wanting me to this or that and I get so worn out. I think it would be nice to take a painting class at one of the local craft stores. My aunt does this and she seems to really enjoy it plus she comes away with some really nice art work. T took Itty on a date to Wal Mart the other night for just an hour and a half but it was nice. Even though I did house work while they were out it was nice to be able to do it without worry about her or getting interrupted by him.

Does anyone read this thing? How is it that some blogs are just really popular and others are not so? Hmmm. Something to think about.

To Be a Friend or Not?

Since I was little I guess my friend making ability was shattered. I was a friendly kid and wanted to please everyone. I guess I let myself get walked on by a certain "friend" and that broke my spirit. I built up walls and they are still standing today. I would go to school, do my work and come home. I kept myself pretty much away from everyone. In middle school I was offered a place in a honor club but I was scared to get involved so I refused. Finally made a friend in middle school but she ended up moving close to the border of Mexico so that bombed out.

Now here I am 25 years old and no close friends. My husband says it is because I do not put myself out there. I thought he was right so I've tried my very best to be more open and crumble the walls. I am a shy person so it is hard. I have talked to a girl in church who is my age and tried to set things up with her. She always agrees but then it falls through. That makes me wonder if she really wants to go do something or does she just say yes to answer? I mean, how many times can something "just come up" on the date we set up?

Also I have a few internet "friends" but they seem to be the type that they will talk to me when they have no one else to talk to. Like the little kid picked last on the playground. It really sucks when you e-mail them and they won't reply when you know they have been on the computer and have had time to talk to everyone else but not you.

Oh well, to be a friend or not? Just tired of always being the one to put forth the effort.